The 3 Foundations of Healing After Loss: Your Path Forward
When you're deep in grief, healing can feel impossible. The weight of loss is heavy, and sometimes even the idea of "healing" might feel like a betrayal of your love. But through my own journey and working with grieving hearts, I've discovered three core foundations that make healing possible - while honoring your ongoing love and connection with the person you lost.
Foundation 1: DESIRE
The journey begins with desire - not a desire to "get over" your loss, but a gentle wanting for something different. It's that quiet moment when you realize you're ready to:
Breathe a little easier
Find moments of peace amid the pain
Smile without immediate guilt
Honor their memory while also embracing life
This desire doesn't mean you're ready to leave your grief behind. Instead, it's about being ready to carry it differently. Sometimes this desire shows up as a whisper, a tiny voice saying, "Maybe there's another way to do this." That's enough.
You don't need to feel ready for massive changes - just ready to take small gentle steps and being open to the possibility of healing while keeping your love intact.
Foundation 2: HOPE
Hope is often the hardest foundation to build, especially when grief has shaken your world. But hope in grief isn't about believing everything will return to "normal" or that you'll stop missing your person.
Instead, it's about:
Believing that healing is possible while keeping their memory close
Understanding that moving forward doesn't mean leaving them behind
Trusting that you can carry both grief AND joy
Accepting that life can be meaningful again, just different
Hope doesn't have to be big. It can start as small as believing you might smile again someday. Even a tiny spark of hope can light the way forward.
Foundation 3: EFFORT
This final foundation is about taking intentional steps on your healing journey. Effort doesn't mean forcing yourself to "feel better" or rushing through your grief.
Instead, it looks like:
Learning to sit with difficult emotions instead of avoiding them
Developing tools to manage overwhelming grief waves
Challenging thought patterns that keep you stuck
Reaching out for support when needed
Taking small steps toward healing, even when it feels scary
Remember: Effort doesn't mean every day has to be productive. Sometimes effort simply means getting out of bed or allowing yourself to rest when needed. Small steps forward are the beginning of your healing journey.
Why These Foundations Matter
These three foundations - Desire, Hope, and Effort - work together to create a sustainable path forward. Without desire, hope feels impossible. Without hope, effort feels pointless. And without effort, desire and hope remain just wishes.
The beautiful thing about these foundations is that you don't need all three perfectly aligned to begin. Sometimes you start with just a tiny bit of desire, which helps you find a spark of hope, which gives you the courage to take one small step.
Where to Start
Start where you are:
If desire is present but hope feels far away, that's okay
If you have hope but aren't sure about the effort, that's okay too
If you're willing to put in effort but struggle with believing healing is possible, keep going
Your Next Steps
If you're reading this, you likely already have the first foundation - Desire. Something in you is ready for a different relationship with your grief. That's enough to begin.
You don't have to have it all figured out.
You don't need to feel completely ready.
You just need to be willing to explore what healing could look like for you.
Healing after loss is deeply personal, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach. But understanding these foundations can help you identify where you might need additional support or encouragement on your journey.
The thing to remember is that you don't have to do this alone.
I would be honored to walk alongside you on your healing journey. Having support can mean all the difference.
If you have the desire and you're ready to take that first step, I'd love to talk about your unique path in a free Pathway to Healing call with me.
During this conversation, we'll:
Explore where you are in your grief journey
Identify which foundations feel strongest for you right now
Discuss what's holding you back from healing
Create a clear picture of your next steps forward
Are you ready to discover what healing could look like for you? Click here to schedule your Pathway to Healing call.
And if you’re not ready for a call, that’s okay too. You can start small by downloading my free First Steps in Healing Grief Workbook. It will help walk you through the first steps you can take in your own healing journey.
Download here: First Steps in Healing Grief Workbook
Remember you don't have to travel this path alone!
Your grief journey matters, and you don't have to walk it alone. ❤️
